Whose DNA did Jesus have? Where was the family in Bethlehem?

These Bible Action Figures have me wondering something I've wondered for a while.  Why wasn't Jesus a chick?  Even if you buy the whole Holy Ghost impregnation schtick and Virgin Mary stuff, you've got to wonder.  If Jesus only had one human parent - Mary - then he should have been female with identical DNA to Mary.  So why wasn't Jesus a chick?

And why were Joseph and Mary travelling alone to Bethlehem for the supposed census (which no Roman historical record supports)?  If they were descendants of David (and what a stupid way to hold a census) then so were their whole families too.  Anyone who has ever lived in the Middle East knows that nothing - but nothing - happens with less than 10 relatives around - certainly not a romantic road trip.  

You arrive at the Red Sea beach at 4 a.m. for the sunrise.  You spread your towel on deserted sands above the waterline.  I guaran-damn-tee you that within five minutes a station wagon with 14 relatives pulls up and unloads the family who spread their towels adjacent to yours.

So okay.  Why wasn't Jesus a chick?  I'm really wanting to embrace a saviour (it would save so much angst), but I need an answer to the question.  Whose DNA did Jesus have if he was the result of a virgin birth?